A Letter To The Girl Who Survived Narcissistic Abuse

You’ve experienced some unpleasant occasions. All things considered, harsh occasions doesn’t depict it enough. You’ve experienced damnation.

What you encountered can in a real sense measure up to hellfire.

Maybe there are different young ladies or different ladies who went through something comparative, and maybe no one but they can get you.

Be that as it may, somebody who hasn’t encountered the things you did can’t start to comprehend what befell you.

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You know, what befallen you doesn’t really take after anything any other person at any point went through.

There will be a few similitudes between certain accounts, yet there are no two stories the same.

That is the reason it harms significantly more to attempt to recount your own story.

That is the reason your heart equals the initial investment more when they say they comprehend and afterward wind up censuring you for remaining so long.

They don’t see, how should they perhaps?

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In the event that they haven’t encountered it in their own skin, in the event that they haven’t been in your mind, on the off chance that they haven’t slice your heart open to perceive what is in it and on the off chance that they haven’t looked into your spirit to see the measure of dread you were feeling, they can’t in any way, shape or form see how or why you remained for such a long time.

You were persuaded you were cherished, that engaging with your victimizer would be an incredible ride. That with him you would will encounter an affection out of this world.

You were told how you were stand-out and how you were all he’d been searching for. You were guaranteed unceasing adoration, however all you got was everlasting hellfire.

You never understood what you were finding yourself mixed up with. You were praying for divine intervention, yet wound up getting the most exceedingly awful.

Also, don’t trick yourself that you could’ve been more brilliant or more cautious. You proved unable.

Since your heart and your brain were never modified to see somebody who’s great at camouflaging. Furthermore, your abuser was magnificent at masking.

He had all the earmarks of being this acceptable and caring person. He did everything right. It was by all accounts unrealistic.

He persuaded you that he was the best you’d at any point get and that he genuinely minded. It was quite a play he performed to get you snared. Furthermore, when you were all his, he changed.

He didn’t change at the same time. He began changing gradually.

He moved each thing in turn since he needed to get you used to the torment one small step at a time, so that once you saw his actual face, you wouldn’t be astounded.

He had everything sorted out. He had his arrangement since a long time ago arranged.

He did everything he could to trap you in his net and feed off of your pain. He knew you’d never leave since you were not that type of person.

You never leave those whom you love, no matter how much they hurt you.

You never give up. You’re the type of person who fights till her last breath and that’s exactly what he was counting on.

For so long, you’ve been asking yourself what it was that you did wrong. For so long, you’ve replayed memories in your head to see what else could have been done to make things right.

But there wasn’t anything else you could’ve done to make things right, since he wanted everything to go wrong for you.

The worst part isn’t the fact that you couldn’t let go. The worst part is that you struggled even after everything ended.

The worst part is that there were still traits of love for him left in you once he was done with you.

It took you a while to escape him, but it took you even longer to accept the truth and what you’d been through in order to let go of the feelings that were running wild in you.

But even when you escaped his toxic net, the toxic feelings he had imprinted on you stayed longer than you hoped they would.

You continued to apologize for everything, even when you knew there wasn’t anything you did wrong.

You kept thinking that all the bad that had happened was your fault, even when half of the things had nothing to do with you.

You were afraid to speak up, you feared showing your emotions or to engage with anyone.

The feelings he kept projecting on you while you were together remained long after he was done with you.

Now that it’s all over you still blame yourself, but I promise you that none of what happened to you was your fault.

Your tormentor was too sneaky for you to even notice something would go wrong.

So there wasn’t a thing you could’ve done differently. Stop beating yourself up about it. It is not your fault.

You need to stop seeing yourself as a victim when you look at yourself in the mirror.

Because you are not a victim. You are a survivor. You survived hell. Acknowledge this. Let it hurt and then let it heal.

Okay, you’re a bit broken now, but aren’t we all? Okay, you’re still scared, but aren’t we all a little bit scared?

None of this means your story ends here. It’s where it begins. Because the only way to go from the bottom is up.

So stop running from your past. Stop running away from what happened to it.

Stop bottling your feelings up and tormenting yourself for what you went through.

Be proud that you’re still standing after the hell you’ve been through and don’t be ashamed of your wounds and scars because they are the proof of your battles and proof that you’re a true warrior.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, you only need to be patient enough and it will appear.

There is a bright future awaiting you, but you need to stop standing in the same spot and start walking toward it.

Do you know what one famous poet said? He said: “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

You are not broken, you’re full of places where the light can enter. Remember this.