Emotions are valuable

All of the emotional anchors that are tied to your ex must be replaced with new anchors. A simple way to do this is to go to an amusement park with a lot of other people, or visit one when you’re in a state of reflection. You’ll start to associate amusement parks with growth, or something else that will last a long time. There are also more active ways to rid yourself of anchors, but they involve a longer, more drawn out process and neurolinguistic programming.

Lots of things can go wrong when you use NLP to tinker with your emotions, so I don’t necessarily condone it, but it is an option that’s available to you. Another challenge you will face is also linked to emotion. It will be very, very hard to keep yourself from giving in to your emotions in the wake of a break up, because your emotional brain will convince you that your feelings are the most important things in your life. Emotions are valuable, but so is your logic.

You have to make a pact with yourself and the people supporting you that you will not fall victim to emotion. Remind yourself that you broke up with her for a reason – you don’t need to get back together with her to make yourself feel better! If you really find yourself hitting rock bottom, find a piece of paper and write down each one of her qualities that would eventually ruin your relationship. Write down that she was selfish, or that she put too much pressure on you. Add every negative quality you can think of, and keep the paper around to refer to whenever you feel the need to. I don’t advocate using this technique often, but it can work for you if you’re in desperate need of relief. The last thing I want you to keep in mind is that it’s very likely that your relationship ended because you reversed gender roles.

Your laziness probably lead you to playing the female gender role, which in turn forced her to take on the male gender role. This happens for one of two reasons: either you became tired of always having to be logical and make decisions and wanted a break, or she tested you and you failed the test. If she tries to take over the relationship to test your dominance, you can’t let her. She’ll blame you for making her feel like a man if you don’t pass the test and she has to assume the male gender role, and you’ll blame her for making you feel like a woman.

The blame game always leads to break up. From now on, every time you’re tempted to burn your ex’s photos or tear up her letters, review this chapter for advice on how to break up like a man. A badass with women is a badass from the start of the relationship to the end!